The Problem With Being Present With My Family

| Guest Post | Nathan Foster |

I love my family. 

I can’t begin to describe the intimate connection I feel when I think of my kids. I never knew I could love this much. 

Yet I’m not really a very good father. Can I admit that I’m easily distracted and often get bored when I hang out with my kids? In spite of my persistent desire to wake them up at night because I miss them, in spite of the butterflies I get when I stare at them, sometimes I can’t handle more the 15 minutes of running around the park or playing hide and seek. 

I often wonder what is wrong with me that after a couple of hours of watching my kids I’m anxious to run away.

Online Spiritual Formation [?]

While the origins of the internet reach back to the 1960s, I was in college when it came of age (mid 90s).  Life was different back then.  Computers on campus were in labs, not dorm rooms (or laps), and there was typically a time limit posted on bulky, green-screen computer monitors that stated how long you could "surf online" if someone was waiting to use a computer for classwork.  It's amazing how different campus feels only 15 years later...

Today, our students live online.  And if we're not finding ways to effectively reach  them -- in that place -- than we may be missing out!

All of the social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) are important tools for us to integrate into our work with college students -- no doubt! -- but what if we could do more?  

Are We the Local Church OR an Arm Reaching On to the Campus?

I love campus ministry!  There's no doubt in my mind that this is what God has created me for... It's such a unique context for ministry; walking alongside young people during some of the most formative years of their lives.


But I've recently been challenged in the way I think about the work I (we) do on campus.


For quite some time I've believed that our work with college students - in the form of campus ministry - is not meant to replace a students' involvement in a local church, only supplement it.  


I've thought that what we provide students is something that's specifically designed to meet them where they're at in life - a contextualized ministry.  Amidst some incredible life transition, as students are being prepared and equipped to go out into the world and make a difference, we get to come alongside them and: 

• encourage them to love God and others, 
• challenge them to make their faith their own, 
• create space for them to grow and nurture a biblical world view, and 
• model for them ways to live into Kingdom priorities and responsibilities.

All of this gets to happen on campus... right where students do the majority of their living, relating and recreating.

But is it enough?  

An Honest Assessment

In two previous posts on assessment, Satisfying Work [?] and 3 Steps to More Satisfying Work, I shared a few points of conversation from my time at the Summer Institute for Campus Ministry (SICM).  This particular day our focus was on assessment, and while there was so much we covered, there is one more point I want to raise here before changing gears next week.


Do we need to teach our students how to 'examine' or 'assess' their lives?


In my two previous posts the focus was on assessing our work - our programs and approaches - and even our ability to recognize/discern/assess spiritual growth and formation in the lives of our students - based on what we are able to observe.  But in our conversation we were quickly reminded of our limitations here in the fact that we cannot know the hearts of others.  

3 Steps to More Satisfying Work

What does the word 'assessment' do for you?  


My guess would be that it evokes one of two responses: 1) you become giddy at the thought of a deep and thorough examination of pertinent data, calculating results and determining important 'next steps' (less common - it has to be!), OR 2) your pulse begins to race, your stomach begins to turn, and you suddenly feel like your at the bottom of a 14,000 foot mountain with neither the equipment nor the expertise to attempt the climb (more common - especially for the relational-types that make up a large percentage of the ministerial population).


While I don't think I'll ever LOVE the idea of assessment, I do think it's important.  Very important.  And although "success" is a hard thing to measure when it comes to the spiritual formation of students - and/or a campus culture - I think there are some ways we can (and should) attempt assessment in our work with college students.

Starting at Home

| Guest Post | Nathan Foster |

How do we know when we are loved?  Is it that look of acceptance, a smile and warm embrace?  Or is it when someone buys us crap we don’t need or lets us have our own way?  The ultimate expression of love has to be taking a bullet for someone, losing your life so someone else can live. You know, the Jesus way.  A heroic stranger sacrifices her own life to save that of a child about to be struck down by a wayward semi.  Our heroine just gave the child what potential time on earth she had left so that the kid could have more.  Minus the potential pain, dying for someone is giving them lots of potential time.  When we share our time, is this not the pinnacle of human sacrifice? 

Time lets us know that we are loved.  In periods of isolation or sadness when someone shares their time, it doesn’t just mean a lot-- it means everything.  The only thing I have any control over is what I do in this fleeting moment.  Time, my most valuable possession is quite possibly my only real possession.  (Excerpt from Wisdom Chaser).

Satisfying Work [?]

If you've caught my last few posts you know that I've recently been on retreat with a bunch of campus ministers at the Summer Institute for Campus Ministry on Whidbey Island.  It was good for so many reasons, and in so many ways.

Our second full day on the island was spent with Ken and Jo-Ann Badley talking about campus ministry assessment.  It was a daunting task, no doubt, but they did a fantastic job covering a subject that I think we'll all agree is both significant and challenging.

Ultimately, we all want to be involved with work and ministry that is satisfying... right?!  Effectiveness, and knowing that what we're actually being effective in what we're doing is important to finding true and deep satisfaction.

SO, here are a few quotes that were presented during the opening session that might serve as a springboard for some upcoming posts on assessment:

Extreme Measures

The picture to the right is of a man (yes, fully clothed) running through Death Valley.  

Extreme athletes will often go to extreme measures in their training in order to be most fully prepared for their upcoming event/s.  It's a part of what makes them great!  Their willingness to push themselves beyond their limits - and far beyond what most of us would be willing to do - is what distinguishes them from the rest of us.  We both admire them and believe them to be completely crazy.

We would love to be like them -- just without having to go through all of the hard work that it takes to become like them...

An Important Question

Yesterday was our first full day at the Summer Institute for Campus Ministry.

Our focus for the day was to explore what it means to "train" people in the faith.

Our facilitator was Dr. Jerry Sittser, Professor of Theology at Whitworth University in Spokane, WA.

We spent over 3 and a half hours in rich, engaged dialogue before breaking for a 2 hour lunch and some casual conversation.  We came back together with Jerry for another hour and a half in the afternoon before breaking for the day (from any more "formal" engagement)... which was a welcomed departure from the inundation of information we had been on the receiving end of.

Towards Thin Places

"God is calling you into His presence!"

This was a statement made by the worship leader last night during our opening time of worship at the Summer Institute for Campus Ministry (SICM).

He went on to confess that on more than a couple of occasions this past year he was approached by different students who would say, "I'm not sure why, but I feel like I'm supposed to tell you that God wants you to come into His presence."


Can you imagine being on the receiving end of a comment like this?  How do you think you'd have received it?  With excitement!?  Or maybe some levels of embarrassment?  Did this student know something?  Did I NOT know something?

Searching for Significance

| Guest post | Nathan Foster | 

I once heard an ultra-conservative guy who had built his ministry empire on the proselytizing of “family values” give his pseudo-retirement address. Apparently, after spending years of working at the ministry 60 to 80 hours per week, he had decided that it was time to slow down. Even at retirement, however, he seemed completely unaware of the notion that he may have spent more time focusing on his work than his own family. He was championing the value of being a workaholic.

My father and I once spent a couple of hours analyzing the lives of influential Christian men, both current and historic. With limited data, we tried to assess just how well famous people bore the name “Father.” It became clear to us that the history of evangelical men was largely a story of men who ditched their families (excerpt from Wisdom Chaser).

SICM and Nathan Foster

I'm leaving later today for one of my favorite places (at least in the US) - Whidbey Island.  

For the last several years the CCCU (Coalition of Christian Colleges and Universities) has hosted a Summer Institute for Campus Ministry (SICM) on this quaint little island off the coast of Seattle.  

Dr. Keith Anderson (President of Mars Hill Graduate School) and Rev. Bill Fischer (Dean of Christian Faith & Life at Huntington University) are the co-creators of this retreat-style spiritual formation experience and have served as co-hosts since the retreats' inception.  

I have attended this event  4 or 5 times now and it always seems to be the perfect mix of instruction, conversation, activity and relaxation.  The size (typically between 25 and 40 attendees) has always drawn me in as well!

This is a great place for me to be with colleagues and friends, to be renewed and encouraged in the midst of my summer, and to be challenged and shaped in some intentional ways.

This year's theme is 'Learning Spiritual Formation' and the plan is to focus on:

• How we learn spiritual formation?
• What is an effective way of spiritual formation that is always learning?
• What elements of formation are necessary for us to learn so that we may teach?

Setting the Table

If you had the chance to communicate one message to incoming students - 2 months before their arrival - what would it be?


We are in the midst of our summer orientation here at BU.  It's probably not too different from what happens on most other campuses around the country that practice this same methodology of "introducing" new students to campus.  


Over the course of a day (transfers), or day and a half (traditional freshmen), we bombard these incoming students (and their parents) with a lot of information, introduce them to some "key" people on campus, get them navigating their way through campus, and send them on their way with a lot of material to peruse over the 2 months they have before they return.


Additionally, as a Christian university, we are increasingly intentional about how we communicate our Christian heritage and mission to these new community members during this time - and how these students, in particular, will have the chance to shape - and be shaped by - this place.

Confessions of an "I"

Hi.  My name is Guy and I'm an introvert.


No, I'm not a recovering introvert, just one that needs to remind myself - and others - from time-to-time that God has made me this way.


I enjoy my cave time.  A LOT.  


The summers on campus often feel like a blissful hibernation of sorts.  Sure, there are the occasional meetings, interactions with other members of my staff, etc., but for the most part there's a lot of quiet space.  I like quiet space.


Sometimes I wonder, however, if being an "I" makes me less effective as a minister on campus.  Are there any other introverts out there that sometimes wonder this same thing?

What Gives?

About a year and a half ago I had the chance to grab lunch with a very accomplished thinker, educator, author, minister-type.  He has done so much over the course of his life, so I just had to ask, "how do you do it all?"

I was a little surprised by his response, "Sleep is overrated!"  He went on to say how the first thing he plans to ask God upon arriving in heaven is, "what's up with sleep?  It seems to me we could have been a lot more productive if we wouldn't have needed that."  I personally like sleep, but increasingly I've come to understand what he was saying.

There's a lot of good stuff out there.  A lot we can give ourselves to.  But,

When life gets too full, what gives?  Because something's got to!

We've all been there... or maybe we live there.  We find ourselves pursuing so many good things that life simply seems too full... and we know we cannot continue on at our current pace for much longer.

Whether we consciously choose what we eliminate (or temporarily sideline) from our schedules or not, we know that without a change to our current pace of life, our quality of life will continue to decline... as likely will our quality of output in all of the good things we're trying to be a part of.

So what goes first for you?

How's Your [Servant's] Attitude?

In my reading this morning I sat with Paul's encouraging letter to the believers in Philippi.  The first half of chapter 2, on imitating Christ's humility, has always been a challenging word to hear...


This morning was no different.


I find myself humbled and challenged by these words from Paul to its' original recipients... because I know it is just as relevant for me today.


5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.


What a tall order.  It kind of makes me wonder if Paul really knew what he was saying at the time... YOUR attitude should be the SAME as that of CHRIST JESUS.  

Ideas for June

Well, we've made it to June.

For many of us this means that students have been gone close to a month... so, how's your summer going?  If the answer is 'too quickly' than I can relate.

As much as I might like to spend each day of the summer months immersed in the scene to the right, making good use of our summer can be the difference between fumbling our way into the new school year or a GREAT start, between a strong, well-planned year or a chaotic, hap-hazard one.

Here are a few thoughts on how to make good use of the month of June :: please share your additional ideas, thoughts and comments in the comments section below!

• Take a vacation - there's nothing quite like getting away from campus, and work, for a while to renew our focus, passion and perspective.
• Attend a retreat or conference - I'm personally more of a 'retreat kind a guy,' but taking some time to intentionally grow - how ever that looks for you - can also go a long way in renewing focus, passion and perspective.
• Spend some extra time at home - consider working shorter hours (if you can) or 'summer hours' that allow you to come in earlier/later so that you can spend some extra time off campus and with family (if that's you).
• Assessment - if you haven't done any intentional assessment of your ministry efforts from the past year, since your school year concluded, now is the time.  Soon our attention will be fully on prep for the upcoming year... and if we want that time to be fruitful, and tracking in the right direction, assessment is a necessity.
• Soul Care - as a part of our assessment, it would probably serve us well to take our 'spiritual temperature' to see how we are doing in our own relationship with Jesus.  It can be easy, in the midst of walking alongside college students in need, to pay more attention to their spiritual lives than our own.  The summer months can provide some much needed space for renewing our pursuit of the One we believe called us to this important work.
• Connect with your team - if you've got other professional staff that you work with, find some intentional ways to connect now that students are away.  Consider a staff retreat, some extended casual (but intentional) one-on-ones for processing the previous year, staff lunches, a BBQ at someone's house where you can invite families, etc.  Continuing to build bonds with you team during 'slower months' can really serve you well during the fast-paced school year.
• Connect with other key ministry partners - June can be a great time to connect with other ministers who serve the students on your campus, whether they be faculty and/or staff on campus, pastors in local churches or fellow college ministers on campus.  Now is a great time to initiate or further invest in relationships with these important 'co-laborers' in Christ.
• Map out the rest of your summer - I usually like to operate pretty spontaneously, but in order to make sure we aren't scrambling at the end of the summer to get everything ready before students' return, it might be worth spending some time intentionally mapping out the rest of our summer months.  When do I start that new initiative?  When do I take that much needed vacation?  When do I start writing that series of talks or studies?  Can I take care of some of the details for the mission trip that might be close to a year away?

The summer months provide us some much needed space for rest and 'uninterrupted' work.  I believe that God calls us all to be good stewards of this 'off season' on campus.  What are your plans?

Grace and peace to you!

When You Pray...

One of the biggest pitfalls that those of us in ministry leadership face is getting too caught up in the 'doing' of ministry that we cease to simply 'be' with Jesus.


Prayer is meant to be the life-line between Jesus and His followers.  It's meant to be the means by which we bring our will into conformity with His.  It's meant to be a means through which He shapes us, prepares us, equips us and speaks to us - in every way - for everything.


Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me ~ Jesus (John 15.4).