Cats, Kittens, Helicopters & College Students

I have to confess to you... I'm not a pet person.  I learned at a fairly young age that I am VERY allergic to most cats and dogs - which was fine in the pet-free home I grew up in, but it did make for challenging sleep-overs as a kid.


Of course, I ended up marrying a pet-person... isn't that always the way it happens?  My wife has been very understanding for most of our first 10 years of marriage.  This past winter, however, her parents asked if they could drop off their "outdoor" cat for the winter.  Having just moved "out to the country" I felt obliged to create some space for this "outdoor" animal.  


While we found ways to make it work during the winter months, you can imagine the shock and horror I experienced as I learned this cat had become pregnant during the active spring months.  Sure, the new kittens she produced were cute and all, but there was no way I was going to become a cat person.


Why am I sharing all of this?  Great question.  And I promise there's a connection to campus ministry coming...

Ideas for July

It's July. 

For most of us this marks the halfway point of our summer... and if you've not been too serious about utilizing your summer 'downtime' to prepare for the upcoming year thus far... all is not lost.  

But, it does probably mean that upon your return from the 4th of July holiday weekend it will be time to get down to some serious business.

Here are a few thoughts on how to make good use of the month of July:: please share your additional ideas, thoughts and comments in the comments section below!

The Problem With Being Present With My Family

| Guest Post | Nathan Foster |

I love my family. 

I can’t begin to describe the intimate connection I feel when I think of my kids. I never knew I could love this much. 

Yet I’m not really a very good father. Can I admit that I’m easily distracted and often get bored when I hang out with my kids? In spite of my persistent desire to wake them up at night because I miss them, in spite of the butterflies I get when I stare at them, sometimes I can’t handle more the 15 minutes of running around the park or playing hide and seek. 

I often wonder what is wrong with me that after a couple of hours of watching my kids I’m anxious to run away.

Starting at Home

| Guest Post | Nathan Foster |

How do we know when we are loved?  Is it that look of acceptance, a smile and warm embrace?  Or is it when someone buys us crap we don’t need or lets us have our own way?  The ultimate expression of love has to be taking a bullet for someone, losing your life so someone else can live. You know, the Jesus way.  A heroic stranger sacrifices her own life to save that of a child about to be struck down by a wayward semi.  Our heroine just gave the child what potential time on earth she had left so that the kid could have more.  Minus the potential pain, dying for someone is giving them lots of potential time.  When we share our time, is this not the pinnacle of human sacrifice? 

Time lets us know that we are loved.  In periods of isolation or sadness when someone shares their time, it doesn’t just mean a lot-- it means everything.  The only thing I have any control over is what I do in this fleeting moment.  Time, my most valuable possession is quite possibly my only real possession.  (Excerpt from Wisdom Chaser).

Searching for Significance

| Guest post | Nathan Foster | 

I once heard an ultra-conservative guy who had built his ministry empire on the proselytizing of “family values” give his pseudo-retirement address. Apparently, after spending years of working at the ministry 60 to 80 hours per week, he had decided that it was time to slow down. Even at retirement, however, he seemed completely unaware of the notion that he may have spent more time focusing on his work than his own family. He was championing the value of being a workaholic.

My father and I once spent a couple of hours analyzing the lives of influential Christian men, both current and historic. With limited data, we tried to assess just how well famous people bore the name “Father.” It became clear to us that the history of evangelical men was largely a story of men who ditched their families (excerpt from Wisdom Chaser).

SICM and Nathan Foster

I'm leaving later today for one of my favorite places (at least in the US) - Whidbey Island.  

For the last several years the CCCU (Coalition of Christian Colleges and Universities) has hosted a Summer Institute for Campus Ministry (SICM) on this quaint little island off the coast of Seattle.  

Dr. Keith Anderson (President of Mars Hill Graduate School) and Rev. Bill Fischer (Dean of Christian Faith & Life at Huntington University) are the co-creators of this retreat-style spiritual formation experience and have served as co-hosts since the retreats' inception.  

I have attended this event  4 or 5 times now and it always seems to be the perfect mix of instruction, conversation, activity and relaxation.  The size (typically between 25 and 40 attendees) has always drawn me in as well!

This is a great place for me to be with colleagues and friends, to be renewed and encouraged in the midst of my summer, and to be challenged and shaped in some intentional ways.

This year's theme is 'Learning Spiritual Formation' and the plan is to focus on:

• How we learn spiritual formation?
• What is an effective way of spiritual formation that is always learning?
• What elements of formation are necessary for us to learn so that we may teach?

Ideas for June

Well, we've made it to June.

For many of us this means that students have been gone close to a month... so, how's your summer going?  If the answer is 'too quickly' than I can relate.

As much as I might like to spend each day of the summer months immersed in the scene to the right, making good use of our summer can be the difference between fumbling our way into the new school year or a GREAT start, between a strong, well-planned year or a chaotic, hap-hazard one.

Here are a few thoughts on how to make good use of the month of June :: please share your additional ideas, thoughts and comments in the comments section below!

• Take a vacation - there's nothing quite like getting away from campus, and work, for a while to renew our focus, passion and perspective.
• Attend a retreat or conference - I'm personally more of a 'retreat kind a guy,' but taking some time to intentionally grow - how ever that looks for you - can also go a long way in renewing focus, passion and perspective.
• Spend some extra time at home - consider working shorter hours (if you can) or 'summer hours' that allow you to come in earlier/later so that you can spend some extra time off campus and with family (if that's you).
• Assessment - if you haven't done any intentional assessment of your ministry efforts from the past year, since your school year concluded, now is the time.  Soon our attention will be fully on prep for the upcoming year... and if we want that time to be fruitful, and tracking in the right direction, assessment is a necessity.
• Soul Care - as a part of our assessment, it would probably serve us well to take our 'spiritual temperature' to see how we are doing in our own relationship with Jesus.  It can be easy, in the midst of walking alongside college students in need, to pay more attention to their spiritual lives than our own.  The summer months can provide some much needed space for renewing our pursuit of the One we believe called us to this important work.
• Connect with your team - if you've got other professional staff that you work with, find some intentional ways to connect now that students are away.  Consider a staff retreat, some extended casual (but intentional) one-on-ones for processing the previous year, staff lunches, a BBQ at someone's house where you can invite families, etc.  Continuing to build bonds with you team during 'slower months' can really serve you well during the fast-paced school year.
• Connect with other key ministry partners - June can be a great time to connect with other ministers who serve the students on your campus, whether they be faculty and/or staff on campus, pastors in local churches or fellow college ministers on campus.  Now is a great time to initiate or further invest in relationships with these important 'co-laborers' in Christ.
• Map out the rest of your summer - I usually like to operate pretty spontaneously, but in order to make sure we aren't scrambling at the end of the summer to get everything ready before students' return, it might be worth spending some time intentionally mapping out the rest of our summer months.  When do I start that new initiative?  When do I take that much needed vacation?  When do I start writing that series of talks or studies?  Can I take care of some of the details for the mission trip that might be close to a year away?

The summer months provide us some much needed space for rest and 'uninterrupted' work.  I believe that God calls us all to be good stewards of this 'off season' on campus.  What are your plans?

Grace and peace to you!

Top 10 Issues College Students Face

There's so much that makes up the college experience... so many opportunities, so many potential pitfalls.  

How well do we assist students in navigating the waters of the college years?

Maybe before we can accurately answer this question we must first ask, "what are the big issues that our students are dealing with?"  If we've not taken the time to answer this question than we must ask ourselves, "how relevant is our ministry?"

I've been working with college students for the last 13 years of my life.  I know there are plenty of you out there who have been working with college students longer than I have (so I hope you'll chime in down in the comments section), or have experienced ministry with college students in different contexts than I have (so your insight will be crucial as well), but here are the top 10 issues I see college students facing today - issues that MUST influence how we 'do ministry.'

Top 10 Issues:

Are You Available? Accessible?

Ministry can be IS a challenging calling.

A life committed to discipleship and service is one that calls us to be available to others, accessible nearly all the time.

This call to ministry is a high calling for so many reasons, not the least of which is our need to be willing to set aside our own agendas each and everyday to follow the leading of Christ.  And as we all know, this is much easier said than done.

Some Great Advice

During my first year in college ministry I was fortunate to work with someone who was concerned with MORE than just what I could bring to the ministry there... she was also concerned with my development as a young minster.

In particular, this savvy campus minister was interested in helping my learn how to establish healthy boundaries as young minister, the kind of boundaries that would set the stage for good health at home and at work... back then... and on into my future.

She said, "you need to remember two things to be healthy in this business:

you should never work more than two of the three time periods of the day

AND

People of Similar Heart & Mind

There's something beautiful that happens when we come together as the body of Christ.

I've been reminded of that this week during my time in NYC with a group of students.

I think I often take for granted the kind of fellowship that I have built into my daily and weekly schedule and assume that all other believers naturally do that same... but this assumption has been proven false this week as I've heard story upon story from students on our team who have simply been blessed by being in community with people of similar heart and mind this week.

They've even seemed surprised by how good this intentionally community has felt.

I find myself wondering how true this is of the rest of our campus... or even this generation...

It would seem that in an attempt to be accepted by others, and to have friends, many students have set aside any prerequisites for who should be in their 'Fab 5' or 'inner circle.'

They have so desired community, especially in the new context that moving away to college creates, that they have been willing to settle for something less.

Now please don't hear me say that I think Christians should not have non-believing friends... or that relationships with non-believers are 'less than' relationships with believers, because that's not what I'm saying. What I am saying, however, is that it seems clear to me that the kind of 'inner circle' or tight-knit group of friends that Jesus created for himself - and set, I believe, as a model for the rest of us to follow - was that of surrounding Himself with people of similar hearts and minds [or as close as He could get with a rag-tag group of humans]. This was the crowd that Jesus spent the majority of His time with. This was the context within which much encouragement, prayer, accountability and edification happened.

I think this kind of intentional Christian community is something that Jesus still wants for His followers to experience today.

For our students, we must help to facilitate this kind of community. We must help students to see their need for this kind of community, recognize what only this community can offer them, as well as challenge them to make this kind of communal experience a priority for themselves.

As minister/pastor-types, we must model this kind of communal commitment. We, too, must surround ourselves with the kind of iron that sharpens iron. We must commit ourselves to being with people who's hearts and minds will both challenge and encourage our own. We must be willing to submit our lives to the careful watch of brothers and sisters in Christ who will help us to be better followers of Jesus, spouses, parents, friends, humans...

Yes, being committed to a community of people who's hearts and minds beat similarly to our own - and more importantly, to the Lords - is not just important, it's essential!

Choosing to Cheat

In my post yesterday I talked about the very real tension that a lot of people in ministry feel between 'family life' and 'work life.'

How do we faithfully fulfill commitments to those we love so dearly, and those we feel called to serve?

I was warned of this tension as a young man sensing a call into ministry during my college years... but it wasn't until I read 'Choosing to Cheat' by Andy Stanley that things became solidified in my thinking - and hopefully my doing as well.

The two things that have stuck with me since I read this book several years ago are:

1. My job already gets some of the "best" hours of my days and week... while my family often get's what's left - the evenings and/or weekends depending on the schedule you keep. For too many it's probably much less than this...
2. While there are many people who could do your job, some who might even be able to do it better than you, there is NO ONE who can be the spouse to your mate or parent to your children that YOU can!

These two thoughts have served to shape most of the choices I make about life and ministry. It's why I haven't been on an extended mission trip with students for the past few years. It's why I try to limit my time away on trips to a few days only a couple of times a year. It's why I try to leave the office promptly at the same time - everyday.

No, I've not mastered this... but I strive daily to faithfully fulfill the call God has placed on my life - first to my family, and then to my students.

Together, my wife and I have decided that this was a good year, and important year, for me to utilize my spring break to journey with students to NYC and walk alongside them through some formative opportunities...

My prayer is that God will bless my family in my absence, bless my time with students, and bring us to the other side of the break closer to Him and to each other as a result of our willingness to sacrifice precious time together.

How have you experienced the blessing that comes through faithful sacrifice?

How have you seen God bless your ministry as you have put your family first?

What other struggles have you found in your pursuit of living out your commitments to your family and ministry?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I stay or should I go now?

Should I stay or should I go now?

If I stay there will be trouble

And if I go there will be double

So come on and let me know

Should I stay or should I go?

These lyrics from the band 'The Clash' sum a very serious question that many of us in ministry often ask ourselves... or should be asking ourselves...

Should I stay or should I go?

I mentioned in a post yesterday on my other blog that I am headed to New York City with a group of students for spring break... and that this is the first spring break in the past few years that I have done so.

In a post from earlier this week, on this blog, I talked about short-term mission trips as one of the most formative experiences we provide for students... and so it seems like it would only make sense that as someone involved in college ministry - who has sensed God's call to walk alongside college students during a very formative season of life - that I/we would want to be on every short-term mission experience with students that we possibly can... because we know just how 'fertile the soil can be' in those places.

Yes, aside from the past few years, I have traveled with, and served alongside, students over spring break all over the U.S. dating back to the mid-90s.

Even after I was married, my wife was graciously willing to give me up for a few days, or weeks, to walk alongside students because we had both experienced for ourselves the power and transformation that can accompany such experiences. Yet, when I got married I made a vow to my wife that I would put her [and a few years later - our family] under God, but above all else.

But how does this work?

We've all heard stories, if not experienced first hand, instances of 'family' being neglected in the name of 'ministry.' So this [putting our family first] doesn't seem to be a lived reality for all who are in ministry...

So for those of us who take seriously God's call on our life to walk alongside college students, and take just as seriously our call and commitment to our marriage vows and family life, there can be a great tension... especially when it comes to longer hours, evening hours, weekend events or mission endeavors that can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks in duration.

How do we respond to this tension?

How do we honor God in these two areas of our life?

Should I stay or should I go?

I'll give some thoughts on this tomorrow... but would love to hear what you think!

The [R]'s of fall bReak

Fall break is nearly upon us!

This is a critical juncture in the fall semester for students, yes, but for campus ministers as well.

As students leave campus for a few days, we have the [R]esponsibility of tending to the [R]'s of fall bReak.

[R]est - for too many of us, this will be the first time we let up on the gas pedal that has been pressed to the floor since mid-August as students and student leaders returned to campus. For you, fall break might be a time when you literally need to break away from the crazy pace you have been keeping and simply rest in the presence of the Father.

[R]eflection - for some of us, we've been so busy doing ministry, that we have not created enough space to simply be and hear from God about what we're doing... or maybe more importantly, what He is doing in our midst. The fall break can be a great opportunity to slow down and examine what has taken place in your ministry, and on your campus, over the past two months. There is a lot that God wants to teach us from our recent experiences, but it does require that we create space for Him.

[R]econnect - for some of us, we've spent so much time involved in our own ministry silos that we've neglected some important relationships and partnerships on campus and in the local community. Fall break can be a great time to reconnect with colleagues and co-laborers in the work of reaching college students with the Gospel of Jesus Christ and raising up the next generation of faithful leaders.

[R]edirect - for some of us, this will be the critical point in the semester/year when we recognize that our ministry needs to move in a new direction. It will likely take some of the aforementioned rest, reflection and reconnecting in order to fully realize our need for change, as well as the specific direction/s we need to now move.

So where do you find yourself as fall bReak approaches? What are you (and your ministry) most in need of this season?

Grace and peace to you co-laborer in Christ!

re-creation

Saturday's posts will be about recreation...

Re-creating ourself - away from the office...

Workaholism is a terrible disease that plagues our country, our families, our health, and yes, even our ministers.

In my first year of ministry i received two of the best pieces of advice regarding my work, and longevity, as a minister...

1. You should NEVER work more than 2 0f the 3 time periods of the day.  If you know you're going to be out in the evening, than arrange to come in late... or be out in the afternoon.  Plan your calendar accordingly!
   
2. There is ALWAYS more ministry to be done... if you plan to stay "at the office" until it's all done then you'll never end up going home.

As ministers we NEED to have a life outside of the work that we do on campus!  

• We need to spend time with family and/or friends.
• We need to engage in the delight of a hobby.
• We need to take care of non-work related tasks that often get pushed to the side when we're in the midst of "doing ministry."
• We need to be with people who fill us up... as most of our work on campus involves us pouring ourselves out into the lives of others.

At the end of a week packed full of ministry, we NEED to be willing to spend some time caring for ourselves... so that when "Monday" rolls around (I recognize that "Mondays" and "weekends" happen at different times of the week depending on where and how we do ministry) we'll be ready for a new week of investing in the lives of students!

So how do you re-create?

What are the life-giving, non-ministry related, activities that you spend time doing on the weekends?

Do you struggle to disconnect yourself from campus?  If so, why?

I love what I do on campus, just like you... but over the course of time I have come to realize that without the proper attention to certain areas of my life as a minister... like intentionally stepping away from campus on Saturdays to care for myself in some significant ways, the recipe for burnout and/or moral failure is much less likely to present itself.

We have to remember that God won't leave campus just because we do... 

In fact, He's a lot more likely to use us if we are refreshed and ready after we've joined Him in re-creating ourselves!