death and faith formation

One of our students tragically lost a parent last week.

In my 12+ years of doing life with college students this is the first time I've attended the funeral of a student's parent.

As we've reached out to him over the past few days, and begin to think about walking alongside him over the coming weeks, months and years; I've found myself wondering how an event of this magnitude shapes a young person during some of the most formative years of their life.

The "college years" are already filled with times of significant life transition, asking big questions, learning how to ask better questions, learning how to seek out answers, determining who we want to become, opening ourselves to who and what God might want us to become, learning how to relate to others at new levels, for new reasons, etc., etc., etc. The number of life shaping influences seem to be at a premium.

The kind of life alteration/formation/transformation that comes with the death of a loved one is one rarely experienced by the "invincible" college student... unless an untimely tragedy like this one occurs.

Every student is different... and will handle a tragedy like this differently... and so my prayer for this young man is that God will use the loss of his earthly father to bring him closer to his Heavenly Father. That many of the superficialities that college students so often get sidetracked by will fall away and this time of formation will prove to be exponential for this weary journeyer.

May God's grace and mercy be ever-present!

How do you walk alongside people who have experienced the death of a loved one?

How have you seen God work in exponential ways in the life of someone who has experienced such pain and devastation?

What advice to you have for those of us who are new to this kind of ministry?

Leading UP

How do you lead UP?

How do you effect decisions, or shape outcomes, from the position you hold?

We are all called to be people of influence right where we are... regardless of whether we feel our decisions impact a few... or many more.

When we're not the top, or final, decision maker in our ministry, or institution, it can feel like our opinions don't count. That our vision is less important. That what we believe might even be wrong, because it conflicts with those who do have the final decision making authority.

The reality is that you don't need to have the final say to be someone who influences people, ministries, institutions, etc. in profound ways.

It's called leading UP.

This is when we tactfully and strategically approach those above us the org chart with the hope and intention of helping them consider something different... a new initiative, direction, redirection, position, posture, etc. This can be an intimidating prospect, but one through which God might choose to work and move in powerful ways.

In attempting to lead UP, I think there are a few essentials we must keep in mind:

1. Be prayerful - It's amazing how receptive people can be when we've asked the Lord to create receptive space on one side of the conversation, and a right heart on the other. It's just as important that we pray for God to grant us with the appropriate heart and words - if not more so - than for the receptive ears on the other side.
2. Be humble - It's important to remember that your boss, supervisor, advisor, etc., is someone who has been placed in their position for a reason - even if you don't believe them to be the best person for the role... It's important that we recognize that God was at work in our setting long before we/others showed up.
3. Be confident - Keeping points 1 and 2 in mind, we need to approach our supervisor with confidence - fully believing that what we have to say truly needs to be said/heard. If we don't believe what we're saying... there's no way that they will. Likely, in hearing us out, the people we're attempting to influence are trying to discern whether or not they can go - in confidence - and convince anyone who may raise questions that what YOU have suggested is, in deed, the best way forward.
4. Find the right time - Timing is key. In the right place, at the right time, most people will be willing to listen to what you have to say. If, however, you approach them in the wrong place, at the wrong time, you could be jeopardizing whatever influence you may have had with this person simply because you inconvenienced and/or embarrassed them.
5. Be prepared - If we are going to be influential - or give our supervisors reason to listen well to what we have to say - we don't dare waste their time with passion-filled pleas that are not supported by evidence, or even theories, that support something other than what is currently being considered.

Being a person of influence often means that we are willing to follow the leading of Jesus, out of a place of safety, and into some the vulnerable position of going against the flow of the tide.

What about you?

Do you desire to be a person of influence?

How do you lead UP?

Is there anything that you think needs to be considered in trying to lead UP?

What makes for a good day?

I've spent much of the day behind closed doors, tending to work that simply must be tended to...

A part of me feels a little guilty. Students have just returned from fall break, and aside from my 8 a.m. Old Testament class and the couple of students that have dared to knock on my closed door, I haven't had much student interaction.

Makes me wonder if I'm choosing to spend my time the right way...

When do you find it OK to close your door in order to be "productive?" Should relationship time ever be sacrificed for tending to "tasks" when you serve as a leader within a ministry?

How do you balance your work/role as a faithful leader between relationships and tasks?

I'd love to know.

Grace and peace!

When 'Walmart' moves to town

What do you do when a bigger, more well-known, more financially funded ministry moves in just down the street from you?

Rumor has it that this may be happening to us.

A very successful young adult ministry at a church about 20 minutes from our campus is rumored to be creating a satellite campus at the edge of our campus. This move would likely thwart many of the efforts that our young ministry has worked very hard at over the past few years.

We're not exactly sure what this will mean for us... how we will do what we do... or want to do.

One of the big conversations I've been having with some of you relates to the relationship between the campus and the church... and it looks like I might be forced to navigate some uncharted waters for me, our ministry here, and our campus community soon.

Have you experienced anything like this before? If so, how'd it go?

If I'm honest with you, I feel uneasy. My spirit senses that this could provide an immediate boost to our campus, but ultimately, leave us in a weakened state as an institution that is desperately trying to retain/gain it's Christian identity.

I'd love to hear any words of wisdom on this out there.

Please pray for our God's will to be done on our campus and in the lives of our students - for His glory!!

Grace and peace.

The [R]'s of fall bReak

Fall break is nearly upon us!

This is a critical juncture in the fall semester for students, yes, but for campus ministers as well.

As students leave campus for a few days, we have the [R]esponsibility of tending to the [R]'s of fall bReak.

[R]est - for too many of us, this will be the first time we let up on the gas pedal that has been pressed to the floor since mid-August as students and student leaders returned to campus. For you, fall break might be a time when you literally need to break away from the crazy pace you have been keeping and simply rest in the presence of the Father.

[R]eflection - for some of us, we've been so busy doing ministry, that we have not created enough space to simply be and hear from God about what we're doing... or maybe more importantly, what He is doing in our midst. The fall break can be a great opportunity to slow down and examine what has taken place in your ministry, and on your campus, over the past two months. There is a lot that God wants to teach us from our recent experiences, but it does require that we create space for Him.

[R]econnect - for some of us, we've spent so much time involved in our own ministry silos that we've neglected some important relationships and partnerships on campus and in the local community. Fall break can be a great time to reconnect with colleagues and co-laborers in the work of reaching college students with the Gospel of Jesus Christ and raising up the next generation of faithful leaders.

[R]edirect - for some of us, this will be the critical point in the semester/year when we recognize that our ministry needs to move in a new direction. It will likely take some of the aforementioned rest, reflection and reconnecting in order to fully realize our need for change, as well as the specific direction/s we need to now move.

So where do you find yourself as fall bReak approaches? What are you (and your ministry) most in need of this season?

Grace and peace to you co-laborer in Christ!

Catalyst - Day 2 - Matt Chandler & Running the Race!

"Some of us get the ministry of Moses. Some Joshua." Matt Chandler

This is an important reminder for me today. Or any day that individuals raise questions about our leadership, ministry, direction, character, etc.

Today is one of those days for me.

I got the chance to hear Matt Chandler, Lead Pastor of The Village Church, speak on Day 2 of the Catalyst conference last week. He is good stuff. A deep well!

The focus of his message to the 13,000 of us that sat at attention was simply to: "run the race that God has marked off for us!" (Heb. 12) For some of us that will be the ministry of Moses - one filled with following God with great faithfulness, but feeling fought by those that we are trying to serve every step of the way. Recall that it did not take the Israelites long to start second-guessing Moses/God upon their great departure from Egypt. The 40 years of wandering in the desert, covered in the book of Numbers, seems to encapsulate the majority of Moses time spent in leadership of the Israelites - who whined and complained almost unceasingly. The end of Moses leadership is chronicled in Deuteronomy - where he charges the Israelites to, 1) remember how faithful God has been in the past - as they have been faithful to Him, 2) recommit themselves to God and the covenant, and 3) pass the baton of leadership off to Joshua.

Joshua then got the glorifying task of leading God's people into the Promised Land. Moses had served his time, spent day after day after day leading an ungrateful people who just couldn't seem to get it. And then Joshua got to complete the task that was originally charged to Moses - to take the Promised Land.

Some of us get the ministry of Moses. Some Joshua.

Today I feel like a Moses. It's never fun to hear of people calling you, or your ministry, into question... especially if you believe you are following the leadership of God.

The people of God often "suggested" to Moses what they thought would be best. Moses struggled with trying to lead a people that seemed more interested in having their own needs met then tending to what God wanted for them.

This was how Moses spent his life. This is how I've spent my morning.

How do we walk the narrow path of discerning and following the direction of God, especially when it seems to trend against what "the people" are wanting?

College students in particular seem to be quite sure of "what they want" and much less aware - and open to - what the actually need. It gets even more confusing when its our student leaders raising the questions. Do they really see something?? Or have they become so enamored with their own role and sense of importance that they now think they've got it all figured out??

Have you ever experienced anything like this?

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please keep our campus community in your prayers!! I truly believe that God desires to do a new/great work in our midst.

Grace and peace.

Catalyst - Day 2 - A Morning w/Andy & Malcolm

It's been a full day... a full, great day!  But I'm tired.

I thought it important to get down some highlights from the day and some thoughts on how it might shape our ministry on campus before I get flooded with more insights tomorrow!

So here we go...

Andy Stanley got things started this morning.  Andy is the founding pastor of North Point Community Church.  His job was to introduce the theme for the conference and set the frame work for the two-day event.  Speaking on the theme: On Your Mark, Andy focused on the story of Joshua.  The key to Joshua's success, and ours, as a leader?  Choosing to allow God to make HIS mark through us... and NOT forcing our mark on the world!  He also said that, "living to make OUR mark on the world is TOO SMALL a thing to give our lives to."

WOW!  What a great word!

After a little break... and a chance to step outside and enjoy the beautiful weather... we (13,000

 Christian leaders from around the country/world) got to hear from Malcolm Gladwell.  Malcolm is a best-selling author of books like: Outliers, Blink, and The Tipping Point.  This guy cut right to the heart!  The topic: The Mistakes Experts Make.  Our biggest mistake as leaders?  Overconfidence.  A lack of humility.  Our overconfidence has a way of becoming a snare.  A trap that keeps us from hearing the wisdom of others and seeing what's really going on around us.

There are some insights that need to shape us as leaders, as well as re/shape our approach to ministry with college students:

• we need to decide who's purpose we are serving - God's or ours
• we need to decide what kind of mark we want to make - God's or ours
• we need to decide who we want to be glorified through our ministry efforts - God or ourselves
• we need to decide who we will put our trust in - God or ourselves
• we need to decide who's strength we will work from - God's or ours
• we need to decide whether we will go the path of humility or overconfidence
• we need to decide if we will work with others or go it alone
• we need to decide if we will empower others or hold them back

The choices we make concerning these paths will either point those that we serve more and more to Jesus... or to us.  Toward the Divine or the flawed.  Towards Truth or something less.  And God entrusts each of us with these significant decisions.

Will we be faithful?  

What other REAL choice is there!?!

Catalyst - Day 1 - The Aquarium Effect

I'm attending my first Catalyst conference this week.  

For me it's a mixed bag...

After the first day I can honestly say that leaders, and quality of their messages, have been well worth the price of admission.  I'm a learner at heart... so having the chance to hear from some of the top Christian thinkers, authors, pastors, leaders, etc., is the upside of this experience.

The down side?  The crowds and the pace.  I'm a much bigger fan of retreats over conferences... with much more built in space for silence and solitude... quiet corners for conversations... opportunities to connect with the presenter/s... and I don't anticipate much of this here.  

Nonetheless, I'm expecting good things from my time here in Atlanta!

One of the most notable highlights for me, today, was a session I sat in on that was led by Alan Hirsch.  He was a fun, funny, quirky Australian with a strong native accent - even though he's relocated to L.A. - and he was dialed in from word one.

The part of his presentation that most hit home to me was when he started to talk about the high percentage of high school students (he said 80%, but I've heard as high as 90%) that head off to college with a "strong" faith and end up throwing in the towel during their years on campus.  

Why does this happen?

Alan used the aquarium as a metaphor for the kind of environment (church/youth group) that most high school graduates leave in coming to the university.  It's an environment characterized by:

• safety
• no/low risk
• control
• no/low challenge
• a near perfect equilibrium

It is an artificial environment that forces it's inhabitants into an untested way of living that renders them unable to survive in more challenging environments.

Although Alan did not go into remedies, there are a few that come to mind... a few ways that churches/youth groups might re/consider the way they approach their work with young people:

• expose students to some of the struggles of life that they might typically be shielded from
• give students increasing levels of responsibility - of varying kinds
• challenge the status quo - push students beyond the safe, cliche answers
• deal with the raw, painful issues of their lives - student live with so much weight

If we want to see students' faith "survive" the college years - which really should define and shape those years - we need to re/think about how we're preparing them for those critical years.

There's no formula to how this can/should happen... but I think the statistics demand that we take an honest assessment of what we're doing, its effectiveness, and willingly make the necessary changes.

Those are my thoughts... what are yours?