Practicing What You Preach

Do you ever struggle to practice what you preach?  I do.


As people who work with college students we often find ourselves asking them tough questions, thinking with them about the ways they think and/or approach their life and even challenge them to consider important changes that might dramatically impact the way they live.


One of the biggest challenges today's student struggles with is waiting... They've grown up in an instant society and are not used to hearing the words 'not yet.'  In many ways 'no' is more of a relief than 'not yet' simply because the issue at hand can be quickly put to rest.  But 'not yet' involves waiting... the issue remains open, without resolution, pending... 

What Do I Believe?

Today's guest post comes from Christy Ridings

In the interest of disclosure I feel I should articulate that I am neither a blogger nor a ‘techno-geek’. That being said, the level of appropriate self disclosure that happens in these types of forums may elude me so consider yourself sufficiently warned. What I am is a fairly transparent, straight shooter who tends to view life, and find God, more in my observations and less in my certainties.

Lately I have been reflecting a great deal on what I believe. Now, I am not speaking in a ‘faith crisis’ kind of way here. I promise this is not an observation about a wilderness experience where foundations are shaken or God cannot be seen from my circumstance. I have been thinking more about how my own beliefs, both conscious and subconscious, construct a framework for how I live and do ministry.

• What are my predominant images of God?
• How would I define God’s mission in the world?
• What does it mean to ‘bear fruit’?
• Who would (does) God include in ‘the least of these’ today?
• What is sacrificial love?

These are a few of the questions that help serve as my compass as I consider where I am finding myself.

How Do You Handle Adversity?

How do you handle adversity? I mean real adversity...

Are you the type of leader that:

• curls up in the fetal position and waits for someone else to make something happen?
• struggles to keep it together?
• breaks down, but ultimately pushes through?
• or do you live by the motto 'I will adapt and overcome'?

The way we deal with adversity speaks loudly to those who are watching. Especially students!

If we freak out under the stress and pressure of the situation than our students will likely follow suit. If we're a bit shakey, but ultimately were able to keep it together... that will say something to students. But if we're able to show confidence that, despite our current circumstances, we believe God will work on our behalf... than I think this can a powerful and lasting impact on those who you're with.

Today has been a day of attempting to 'adapt and overcome'. Based on a couple of comments I've overheard from students... I must be doing a decent job. I find it is pretty easy to have faith that God will work something out because I've been doing this long enough to see how He's done it in the past. For students who haven't experienced something like this before... it can be a little more challenging.

So how do you deal with adversity when it rises up?

People of Similar Heart & Mind

There's something beautiful that happens when we come together as the body of Christ.

I've been reminded of that this week during my time in NYC with a group of students.

I think I often take for granted the kind of fellowship that I have built into my daily and weekly schedule and assume that all other believers naturally do that same... but this assumption has been proven false this week as I've heard story upon story from students on our team who have simply been blessed by being in community with people of similar heart and mind this week.

They've even seemed surprised by how good this intentionally community has felt.

I find myself wondering how true this is of the rest of our campus... or even this generation...

It would seem that in an attempt to be accepted by others, and to have friends, many students have set aside any prerequisites for who should be in their 'Fab 5' or 'inner circle.'

They have so desired community, especially in the new context that moving away to college creates, that they have been willing to settle for something less.

Now please don't hear me say that I think Christians should not have non-believing friends... or that relationships with non-believers are 'less than' relationships with believers, because that's not what I'm saying. What I am saying, however, is that it seems clear to me that the kind of 'inner circle' or tight-knit group of friends that Jesus created for himself - and set, I believe, as a model for the rest of us to follow - was that of surrounding Himself with people of similar hearts and minds [or as close as He could get with a rag-tag group of humans]. This was the crowd that Jesus spent the majority of His time with. This was the context within which much encouragement, prayer, accountability and edification happened.

I think this kind of intentional Christian community is something that Jesus still wants for His followers to experience today.

For our students, we must help to facilitate this kind of community. We must help students to see their need for this kind of community, recognize what only this community can offer them, as well as challenge them to make this kind of communal experience a priority for themselves.

As minister/pastor-types, we must model this kind of communal commitment. We, too, must surround ourselves with the kind of iron that sharpens iron. We must commit ourselves to being with people who's hearts and minds will both challenge and encourage our own. We must be willing to submit our lives to the careful watch of brothers and sisters in Christ who will help us to be better followers of Jesus, spouses, parents, friends, humans...

Yes, being committed to a community of people who's hearts and minds beat similarly to our own - and more importantly, to the Lords - is not just important, it's essential!

Partnering with Former Students

Have you ever thought about working with former students? Wait, maybe 'partnership' is a better way of thinking about it...

Have you ever partnered with former students that you once spent time, energy and effort investing in?

Maybe it was an initiative on campus... or something that took place on the other side of the world? Possibly a one time event... or maybe it was something that was ongoing over the course of a semester or year?

Partnering with alumni from your ministry [be it your present ministry location or one from your past] can be a powerful experience for everyone involved.

For your current students experiences like this can serve as a visual for what someone 'on the other side' of graduation, from both college and your ministry, can turn out like. It can also help them to understand the importance of being committed to your relationship and personal discipleship. Experiencing a partnership like this can serve as a powerful motivation for students who may be struggling with their:

• faith
• vocation
• motivation levels
• desire to graduate
• fears about the future
• among others, I'm sure...

Experiencing a young professional who is 'making it' and who is also willing to 'give back' to you and your ministry efforts can go a long way to strengthen a wide variety of commitments.

For the former student/now partner an opportunity like this can serve as an incredible encouragement to them in that it speaks to:

• your commitment to your relationship with them
• your belief in them
• your belief in their current work
• your belief that this individual is worthy of providing leadership to your group

Opportunities like this, for former students to 'give back' to something that has been an important part of their life, as well as to receive a gift in reconnecting with a piece of their past can be significant! You never really know how God might choose to use an experience like this for them!

And for YOU, the minister/pastor-type, a partnership like this can be the kind of thing that God uses to:

• remind you of how He has worked in the past
• encourage you in your current work
• validate your sense of calling
• strengthen ties with students - past and present
• give you visions of future work

Yes, choosing to partner with students from your past can be a very beneficial thing... for everyone involved!

The Power of Process-ing

I can't remember where, or when, I first heard it... but it was a statement that changed how I did/do/and will always do ministry in the future::

'Thoughtful reflection is the final 33% of a meaningful experience.'

Think about that for a minute. Thoughtful, intentional reflection on an experience is the final 1/3 of the overall experience. Or put another way, without taking the time to intentionally reflect on an experience you only get 66% or 2/3 the FULL experience. In grading terms we're talking about a 'D'... which is only 6 percentage points away from failing. Most of the students I know would NOT be happy with this kind of experience [or grade].

Revisiting Edgar Dale's 'Cone of Learning' one more time, it seems that even one's 'participation in the real thing' which stands atop the cone as the most actively engaged way for us to learn - must include some form of intentional reflection component in order to yield a 90% retention level. And as pastor-types who are working with college students, we want students to do more than simply 'remember' their experience/s... we want them to be transformed by them!

I'm currently in NYC with a group of students on a spring break 'immersion trip.' Each evening thus far we have spent some time journaling and conversing about the experiences of our day. It is amazing to see how God uses the comments of one student to seemingly open a new door of knowing for another student. Or how one students words can precisely summarize what another student had been struggling to articulate. Or how one thread of a conversation can lead down a path that unlocks something in another person's heart or mind that had been previously inaccessible.

Yes, there is power in the process. But when meaningful, intentional processing accompanies the process - the power unleashed is the kind of thing that God can use to change a life forever!

On Traveling With Students

One of the reasons I've always loved college ministry, specifically working as a part of the university, is because it provides ample opportunity to 'do life' with students in their context - the place where the go to class, eat and live.

I've often thought that those who reach out to this group from 'off campus' have a much tougher road... they just don't have the same 'easy access' that comes when your office is located right next to the cafeteria...

The past couple of days have reminded me, however, that whatever kind of benefit that comes from being on campus with students is trumped 100 times over by the experience of traveling with them.

While trips with students might necessitate time away from family, here are some of the major benefits I've been reminded of so far:

• Relationships are accelerated - the kind of relational work that can be accomplished in just a day, let alone a week, can often take a whole semester - if not longer - back on campus
• Students are less distracted - students are on the trip because they want to be there and are likely looking for the deep, meaningful conversations that might accompany the kind of service opportunity that peaked their interest in the trip in the first place.
• We're more in tune - yes, even us college ministers can benefit from getting away from campus, and the responsibilities of home for a short time, and immersing ourselves in activities alongside students.
• God is more easily recognized - when we're all out of our normal routines and boxes... our eyes have the chance to re/adjust to their surroundings and God is often much more easily recognized and experienced!
• Transformation is made easier - when students (and pastor-types) are less distracted, and more easily in-tune with God in their midst, spiritual transformation becomes much more likely!

Opportunities to travel with students don't present themselves very often... but when they do, they are terrific occasions to grow relationships (quickly), experience new things together, and see God work in new and powerful ways.

Choosing to Cheat

In my post yesterday I talked about the very real tension that a lot of people in ministry feel between 'family life' and 'work life.'

How do we faithfully fulfill commitments to those we love so dearly, and those we feel called to serve?

I was warned of this tension as a young man sensing a call into ministry during my college years... but it wasn't until I read 'Choosing to Cheat' by Andy Stanley that things became solidified in my thinking - and hopefully my doing as well.

The two things that have stuck with me since I read this book several years ago are:

1. My job already gets some of the "best" hours of my days and week... while my family often get's what's left - the evenings and/or weekends depending on the schedule you keep. For too many it's probably much less than this...
2. While there are many people who could do your job, some who might even be able to do it better than you, there is NO ONE who can be the spouse to your mate or parent to your children that YOU can!

These two thoughts have served to shape most of the choices I make about life and ministry. It's why I haven't been on an extended mission trip with students for the past few years. It's why I try to limit my time away on trips to a few days only a couple of times a year. It's why I try to leave the office promptly at the same time - everyday.

No, I've not mastered this... but I strive daily to faithfully fulfill the call God has placed on my life - first to my family, and then to my students.

Together, my wife and I have decided that this was a good year, and important year, for me to utilize my spring break to journey with students to NYC and walk alongside them through some formative opportunities...

My prayer is that God will bless my family in my absence, bless my time with students, and bring us to the other side of the break closer to Him and to each other as a result of our willingness to sacrifice precious time together.

How have you experienced the blessing that comes through faithful sacrifice?

How have you seen God bless your ministry as you have put your family first?

What other struggles have you found in your pursuit of living out your commitments to your family and ministry?

Cone of Learning :: Part IV :: Getting More from 'Less'

I've spent the past few days thinking about Edgar Dale's 'Cone of Learning' and what it might have to say to us about how we minister to college students.

In my second post on 'the Cone' I focused on the high, or active, end of the cone and explored how short-term mission endeavors might be some of the most formative - albeit infrequent - experiences we provide students - based on Dale's model.

In yesterday's post I then suggested that some of our 'less formative efforts' - based on Dale's model - might be made more formative with the introduction of some more active elements added to them - like discussion.

Today I'd like to end this thread of thought by suggesting that some of those 'experiences' that fall low on Dale's 'Cone' might actually be those of the things that eventually provide some of the greatest opportunities for powerful, consistent and long-term growth!

Learning to do the simple, the mundane, the ordinary things of life... like reading, listening and looking - with an openness to, and an awareness of, God in our midst... is a way of understanding spiritual growth that does not fit easily into Dale's 'Cone.'

When we consider some of the spiritual disciplines that Jesus modeled for us in the stories of scripture we see average become divine!

• Reading becomes meditation on, and study of, God's Word
• Listening becomes prayer
• Looking becomes seeing the world with the eyes of God

Learning to experience God in the ordinary of life does not come naturally, nor is it as 'exciting' as the mountain-top or extra-ordinary experiences that come every now and then... but the kind of consistent, hearty fruit that hangs on the trees of the spiritually grounded, growing and strong!

Yes, there are definitely some things that we should take away from the 'Cone of Learning,' but we can never presume how, where, or through what God will choose to work!

What are your experiences with learning to experience God in the midst of the 'ordinary'?

Teaching 'the Dance'

When I was first married my wife begged me to take some ballroom dancing lessons with her. I was reluctant... but who wants to say 'no' to your new bride!

It was quite an experience (right up until the point when I found out that the school I was working at didn't allow their staff to dance - who knew)!

Having been an athlete for most of my life I was amazed at how clumsy I felt.

I think it had something to do with that fact that what I did impacted, and was impacted by, my partner.

Many of the sports I had played were team sports that necessitated each team member doing their part for the whole thing to work... but it was still different.

It was almost as if I was attempting to run a deep route while participating in a three-legged race; or attempting a fast break in one of those two-person costumes that require both parties to move in-step with one another...

It was not easy! In fact, far from it!!

I've had a number of conversations with students recently about their struggles with different habitual sins.

It seems my talks with these students often go one of two ways:

1. They have grown weary of all of their failed efforts and have nothing left to give, OR
2. They confess their faith, hope and trust in God's grace and are waiting for Him to take it away.

In their mind it's all or nothing...

Either it's all up to them and God has no part in the process and is just waiting for them to clean up their act before He will meet with them or show His face again (or they feel worthy enough to approach Him); OR it's all up to God and there's nothing for them to do in the matter.

While one of these paths would be easier... it rarely is the way that God chooses to work. In my experiences our spiritual formation - that which transforms us more into the likeness of Jesus - is more like a dance.

Jesus serves as the instructor and lead dancer in the pair.

We are the willing partner.

We have a role in the dance. But the role is secondary to that of God.

The 'dance' experience is something else - something less - something other - if we're not on the dance floor, or if we've relegated God to a chair over by the punch bowl.

Healing, transformation, becoming more like Jesus... becoming the person that God created us to be requires that we willingly join in 'the Dance'.

We may not be in control, we may not know where we're going - or when, but the experience and the outcomes of joining God in the dance of our life is a dance we must be willing to enter into to and commit to!

Helping students to learn this dance is a significant part of our work on campus.

Don't you think?

How have you helped students to understand 'the Dance' and their role in it?

When Men Invest In Men

Had my first meeting with a new group of guys tonight...

Groups like this have been some of the best things I have ever been a part of in the past! Men coming together to connect with other men and talk about life and faith and such.

My first experience came when I was a freshmen in college. I was a new Christian, young in my faith, and for whatever reason I was given the chance to be a part of a group of guys that was meeting regularly with the campus pastor.

This time and space became the place where I learned what it meant to be a man who sought hard after God. I learned what it looked like to be open, honest, vulnerable and accountable. I learned how to pray for others and to be prayed for. I learned that God's power truly is made perfect in weakness!

Too many men walk through life alone! We need more who are willing to step up and invest in other men. We need men who are willing to walk alongside each other - willing to hold each other accountable, prayer for one another and encourage one another. We need men who will follow hard after God and invited others to come along with them!

Can you image how different things might look in our relationships, marriages, homes, campuses, workplaces, the marketplace... our world... if men will start putting their relationship with Christ above all else?

It won't just happen... and it can't happen without coming together under the leadership of Christ.

I'm excited about what God might do in us and through us as this group continues to meet!

Tonight was, after all, just the first meeting! ;)

death and faith formation

One of our students tragically lost a parent last week.

In my 12+ years of doing life with college students this is the first time I've attended the funeral of a student's parent.

As we've reached out to him over the past few days, and begin to think about walking alongside him over the coming weeks, months and years; I've found myself wondering how an event of this magnitude shapes a young person during some of the most formative years of their life.

The "college years" are already filled with times of significant life transition, asking big questions, learning how to ask better questions, learning how to seek out answers, determining who we want to become, opening ourselves to who and what God might want us to become, learning how to relate to others at new levels, for new reasons, etc., etc., etc. The number of life shaping influences seem to be at a premium.

The kind of life alteration/formation/transformation that comes with the death of a loved one is one rarely experienced by the "invincible" college student... unless an untimely tragedy like this one occurs.

Every student is different... and will handle a tragedy like this differently... and so my prayer for this young man is that God will use the loss of his earthly father to bring him closer to his Heavenly Father. That many of the superficialities that college students so often get sidetracked by will fall away and this time of formation will prove to be exponential for this weary journeyer.

May God's grace and mercy be ever-present!

How do you walk alongside people who have experienced the death of a loved one?

How have you seen God work in exponential ways in the life of someone who has experienced such pain and devastation?

What advice to you have for those of us who are new to this kind of ministry?

creating space

although i've only been blogging since mid-march of this year... i've really taken to it.

it's almost become a spiritual discipline of sorts.

i find it a great space for me to reflect on what's happening in my life and what i think i see God doing in my midst...

although i have a personal blog i was challenged yesterday to consider a new venue...

one that would explore (hopefully with others) campus ministry and the lives of those who are called into this unique field.

the catalyst?

a great coffee conversation with Benson Hines - a HUGE advocate for campus ministry - and i was convinced that i needed to join with him in seeing the field that we are both so committed to, and passionate about, continue to further in its development.

neither one of us are quite sure what we have to offer... but we're both willing to do whatever we can...

in 12 years i've served on 4 different campuses, representing 3 different denominations, and have had the pleasure of working with a host of great people while seeing ministry done in a number of different ways.

i hope this blog will be more than just a space for me to reflect on what i've learned and am learning...

i hope it will become a space that campus ministers around the globe will choose to visit, find encouragement from, share their wisdom through, and grow in our interconnectedness to one another as we serve the mission of Christ in the unique environment that is the university campus.

may this space be a place where God speaks to and through all who might choose to visit!

thanks in advance to all who will add to this space and the work of God all around the world.