Practicing What You Preach

Do you ever struggle to practice what you preach?  I do.


As people who work with college students we often find ourselves asking them tough questions, thinking with them about the ways they think and/or approach their life and even challenge them to consider important changes that might dramatically impact the way they live.


One of the biggest challenges today's student struggles with is waiting... They've grown up in an instant society and are not used to hearing the words 'not yet.'  In many ways 'no' is more of a relief than 'not yet' simply because the issue at hand can be quickly put to rest.  But 'not yet' involves waiting... the issue remains open, without resolution, pending... 

Cats, Kittens, Helicopters & College Students

I have to confess to you... I'm not a pet person.  I learned at a fairly young age that I am VERY allergic to most cats and dogs - which was fine in the pet-free home I grew up in, but it did make for challenging sleep-overs as a kid.


Of course, I ended up marrying a pet-person... isn't that always the way it happens?  My wife has been very understanding for most of our first 10 years of marriage.  This past winter, however, her parents asked if they could drop off their "outdoor" cat for the winter.  Having just moved "out to the country" I felt obliged to create some space for this "outdoor" animal.  


While we found ways to make it work during the winter months, you can imagine the shock and horror I experienced as I learned this cat had become pregnant during the active spring months.  Sure, the new kittens she produced were cute and all, but there was no way I was going to become a cat person.


Why am I sharing all of this?  Great question.  And I promise there's a connection to campus ministry coming...

Is Graduation Really the End?

They're done, but not gone.  


They're college graduates - prepared and equipped to go out and make a difference in the world - but they don't seem quite ready to step across that threshold from collegiate life to post-grad participation in the 'real' world.

So what are we to do?  Especially if they look to us for answers... or for space to 'hide-out' while they try to figure some things out.

Do we give them a firm, but gentle, nudge out of the proverbial 'nest;' OR do we allow them to hang around for a while?

Have We Done All We Could?

It's graduation week for many of us!  The time of the year when we send our graduates off into the world to live out their dreams, live into their passions, and to make the world a better place... right!?

A couple of weeks a go I asked this question in my weekly poll:

What's the biggest issue facing graduating seniors?

Here are the results of the voting:

• A tough job market - 26%
• Unrealistic expectations about the future - 13%
• School debt - 13%
• The need for more education and/or experience - 13%
• A lack of direction for the future - 33%

The responses left by respondents, from all over the country, have left me wondering if we have done all that we could for our soon-to-be graduates...

[Lack of] Commitment to Jesus in a Culture of Non-Commitment

Commitment.  It doesn't seem to be a real popular action among college students... especially when it comes to Jesus.


And can we really blame them?

As a culture (both Christian and non) we've not done a very good job of modeling commitment to this younger generation.

In the media, we have promoted programming that displays all of the "fun" that can be had without committing to just one partner, but by keeping your "options open" and enjoying the disconnected physical pleasures with individuals (and/or groups) who are simply interested in meeting an immediate "need" without consideration for the long-term ramifications.

In the home, we shown them that the marriage union is one that can be easily broken if it gets too hard, no longer meets our needs, or simply looses its interest (I recognize this does not categorize all accounts of divorce).  Many of today's college students have experienced the harsh realities of divorce first-hand as they have witnessed the disintegration of their parent's marriage.  Right or wrong, students have lived through the pain of these break-ups and have been profoundly impacted by them.

Top 10 Issues College Students Face

There's so much that makes up the college experience... so many opportunities, so many potential pitfalls.  

How well do we assist students in navigating the waters of the college years?

Maybe before we can accurately answer this question we must first ask, "what are the big issues that our students are dealing with?"  If we've not taken the time to answer this question than we must ask ourselves, "how relevant is our ministry?"

I've been working with college students for the last 13 years of my life.  I know there are plenty of you out there who have been working with college students longer than I have (so I hope you'll chime in down in the comments section), or have experienced ministry with college students in different contexts than I have (so your insight will be crucial as well), but here are the top 10 issues I see college students facing today - issues that MUST influence how we 'do ministry.'

Top 10 Issues:

The "R" Word

Responsibility.


It has increasingly become a dirty word for this generation of students.  


I posted a some reflections back in February where I began thinking about the impact that the 'emerging adulthood' phase of life might be having on our work and ministry with college students (you can find them here and here).


Central to our struggle to draw students into meaningful, long-term, relational ministry might very well be this element of responsibility.


We know that students - most of whom are out of their parents sight, and immediate influence, for the first time - NEED to be challenged to take on more and more of life's responsibilities as they join us on campus community... BUT we also know that one of the key characteristics to this 'emerging adulthood' phase of life is an unwillingness to step into the new, adult responsiblities that accompany all of the new, adult freedoms.

Well Curve/Recession Connection?

Last week I posted some thoughts on a disturbing trend I've noticed on our campus... a trend where sophomore and junior year involvement in ministry related activities is substantially less in comparison to that of freshmen and senior involvement; and based on some of the comments I've heard, and conversations I've had with other college/campus ministers since then, it would appear that this trend is not unique to our campus.


The well curve of student engagement in spiritual activity on campus can be tied to a number of things... both good and bad.


On the up side, it can point to:

1. students getting plugged into a local church, which allows them to get involved in a multi-generational and/or college specific ministries, or 
2. students taking initiative to create personalized opportunities with friends on campus.

The Well Curve Trend

Over the past few years I have noticed a trend on campus that has me more than a little concerned.

Student involvement in ministry-related activities used to take on the form of a bell curve over the course of 4 years on campus.  

New students would slowly get involved as they integrated into their new community and became aware of new opportunities.  Their involvement would typically peak during their junior year as their influence and level of connectedness were also at their respective peaks.  And then, as their time and attention began to turn to internships and life after graduation, students would become less involved with on-campus ministry opportunities.

More recently, however, I've noticed that the once bell curve has become more of a well curve.

When Students Lead

When students lead something magnificent happens...

It's hard to put into words how it actually happens, but it is spectacular to watch!

I am a product of a student leader model of campus ministry. Because this was so formational for me, I have sought to implement a student leadership model in every ministry context that provides ample opportunities for students to take on as much leadership as possible. Creating space for ownership, growth, failures and successes has been critical to this model. And while it may not have always been easy, or looked pretty, I know students have come out on the other side of the experience transformed as a result!

I previously wrote about Edgar Dale's 'Cone of Learning' starting a little over a week ago and in my second post on the topic I explored briefly the power of experience. The powerful experiential example I talked about in that post was a short-term mission trip. Equally formative, I believe, is giving students the opportunity to lead out in all areas of ministry. Providing space for students to explore the things they have seen, learned, as well as the ideas they have come up with on their own in regards to how leadership works is a critical developmental opportunity that must be incorporated into how we in collegiate ministry do what we do!

I'm currently on a spring break mission trip in NYC with a team of 15 students, being led by two very capable student leaders. Some ways in which these student leaders have lead-out so far are:

• trip logistics - they have been a part of the planning and preparing phases of the trip.
• team formation - they have facilitated multiple pre-trip meetings that were designed to be both informational and relational in scope.
• travel guides - they have taken care of getting the team from campus to the airport, through two airports, from the airport to our site for the week (via the airtrain and subway systems), and daily from site to site.
• on-site logistics - they have had to think through everything from food to activities to how we can spend our free time.
• spiritual guides - they have led out in morning devotional times, as well as important reflective times at the conclusion of our days.
• empowerers and equipers - they have also done a good job of sharing the role of 'leader' with other members of the team as appropriate and when needed.

Yes, I have been on the trip... but only as a team member. I work alongside everyone else, doing whatever they're doing. And yes, I am here if they get into a pinch, but don't we all have someone we can turn to in times of need?

It's been so good to watch these student leaders work together, lead our team, as well as work with our hosts here in NYC. They have done a fantastic job so far... and I've been reminded of just how significant my own opportunities to lead as a college student were in shaping me.

Yes, there's something quite beautiful that happens when students lead.

Waiting to Grow UP :: Part II

So in my last post I talked about the emergence of a new phase of life known as 'emerging adulthood'. At the end of the post I asked:

• What kind of effects is this new phase of life having on the faith development process?
• Are the ways we've approached this age group in the past still effective? Efficient?
• What can we expect from college student in this phase - both as students and student leaders?
• Is there something we should be doing to slow down, stop, or even reverse this process? Is any kind of change even possible?

Here are some of my thoughts:

What kind of effects is this new phase of life having on the faith development process?

• As is the case in all phases of life, there is no 'one size fits (or describes) all'
• A phase of life that is characterized by increased levels of freedoms, without equal or proportionate expressions of responsibility, will undoubtedly impact an 'emerging adults' faith development.
• As responsibility is delayed in many areas of life, taking ownership of one's faith will likely be one of those areas that is also shelved until later.
• A growing and maturing faith would likely lead to an 'emerging adult' who was maturing in other areas of his/her life that would cause them to stand out in comparison to their peers.

Are the ways we've approached this age group in the past still effective? Efficient?

• Some yes, some no
• Degrees don't earn us anything.
• Titles may earn us even less...
• Young people love the idea of community
• Young people live online
• Personal relationships cannot be replaced
• Personal relationships have to be constantly pursued and invested in

What can we expect from college student in this phase - both as students and student leaders?

• Again, not all students will fit into one categorization.
• There have always been students who have been more responsible than others, same with student leaders
• Students like the idea of having a lot of opportunities
• Students like the idea of being well-connected
• Students don't like to be tied down
• Students like to know that their voice is heard and holds power
• Many students don't like to be challenged or denied
• Students expect results quickly

Is there something we should be doing to slow down, stop, or even reverse this process? Is any kind of change even possible?

• I don't know what kind of change is possible in this 'emerging adulthood' phase of life
• I think leaders and minister will have to change our approach/es to connect
• I think we need to challenge students whenever possible to step-up, take ownership and be responsible!

These thoughts aren't complete... but that's what I have right now.

What do you think? What have you seen from where you sit?

Waiting to Grow UP

If you've worked in college ministry for very long I'm sure that you heard the term/s:

• prolonged adolescence, or
• delayed adulthood, or
• "thresholders", or
• emerging adulthood, or
• boomerang kids, or even
• youthhood

in describing a new phase of life that has sprung up between youth and adulthood. If you haven't, here's a good article that USA Today published on it back in 2004.

What this article suggests, as do the many sociologists and psychologists who study this new phase of development, is that today's "young adults" [ages 18-32] are taking longer and longer to assume many of the "adult" responsibilities in life.

With all of the technological advances, adult-themed media and families struggles that have experienced firsthand, it seems that too many kids have grown up too fast.

Upon graduation from high school and "moving on" - be it to college, a job or life outside of their parents home - many struggle to step into new realms of responsibility. They don't however, struggle to step into new realms of freedom!

These 'emerging adults' love all of the opportunities afforded to them outside of the parental home... but don't care as much for the responsibility side of that same coin. Because of this we have seen the birth and rise of the 'helicopter parent' or the more recent upgraded version - 'the Apache helicopter parent' - yes, this one doesn't just hover, it also attacks!

I've been wondering for a while now how this phenomenon shapes our ministry efforts to this age group. Some questions I've been asking myself are:

• What kind of effects is this new phase of life having on the faith development process?
• Are the ways we've approached this age group in the past still effective? Efficient?
• What can we expect from college students in this phase - both as students and student leaders?
• Is there something we should be doing to slow down, stop, or even reverse this process? Is anything even possible?

I'll give some thoughts on these questions tomorrow.

But what do you think?

What questions are you asking in relation to this 'prolonged adolescence' factor to our ministries?